Cave-In

It's been more than 3 days since my insides caved-in. I never realized how much I really longed for a Significant Other in my life until I watched REC on Animax. Maybe I was lying to myself all this time that I'll be fine and I'll get by. Maybe I've hidden this truth and plastered it over since my last cave-in.

The only person I can imagine to be my Aka is Cathy but I was never anything to her other than a friend. Her one driving dream was to find her freedom in America. Everything else had to be a very far second to that dream.

It gnaws your insides, this thing we call loneliness. It gnaws until only the hollowness remains and the outer walls cave-in on the vacuum. Maybe there was nothing there in the first place, but I disagree. I have a life. I have a place. Even if Cathy or Janet or all those others who I liked, who I wanted to be my Significant Other, didn't agree, didn't like me back, I have a life.

I do have a life. That she, whoever she is, isn't here, has no bearing on it.

I serve. I serve the ONE first and last. I help the family. I have a life.